Harry Reid IS Mr. Vengeance!

Why is this man smiling? He's got revenge on his mind!

The fiscal cliff was hard on many people, but especially on Nevada’s own Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. Not only did House Speaker John Boehner tell Reid to “go f–k yourself,” but Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell got Vice President Joe Biden to negotiate when Reid had decided to play hardball.

What’s a majority leader to do? Get revenge, that’s what! Reid is nothing if not a ruthless plotter of vengeance, Old Testament-style. Based on my long study of the senator, here’s a few ideas I think he might be contemplating:

  • Securely place a tack on the chair at the dais when Biden comes next to preside over the Senate.
  • Deliberately mispronounce Boehner’s name so that it sounds like … the word for “mistake.” (What? What did you think I was going to say?)
  • During the 2013 State of the Union, stare directly at the speaker’s podium where Biden and Boehner sit and conspicuously adjust his eyeglasses using only his middle finger.
  • Continuously send fake Domino’s Pizzas to the U.S. Naval Observatory, where Biden keeps his official residence.
  • Sneak in and adjust intensity of Boehner’s tanning bed.
  • Secretly replace coffee in the vice president’s ceremonial office in the Capitol with Folger’s crystals. And then add some Kahlua.
  • Slap “Hillary 2016″ stickers on every vehicle in his U.S. Capitol Police motorcade.
  • Make a sizable donation from Searchlight Leadership Fund to any and all tea party super-PACs gathering money to dump Boehner in favor of House Majority Leader Eric Cantor as speaker.
  • Encourage President Obama to send Biden to Antarctica to investigate global warming.
  • Crank call vice president’s suite at Eisenhower Executive Office Building, saying, “Afiscalcliffnegotiationsinterloper says what?”
  • Introduce S.123, a bill to allow gay marriage … but only between Biden and McConnell.
  • Use privilege of the floor as a former House member to gain access to chamber, super glue Boehner’s gavel to the rostrum.
  • Watch and re-watch Star Wars movies until he can shoot lightening out of his fingers like the Emperor, and then go all Revenge of the Sith on Biden in empty Senate chamber.
  • Practice responses to future Boehner favorite insult until they flow naturally off the tongue. For example, “No need. Your mom took care of that last night, yo!”
  • Demand beer summit with Obama to resolve the issue, turn it into a national teaching moment.

 

4 Responses to “Harry Reid IS Mr. Vengeance!”

  1. Chandler Chandler says:

    It appears that John Boehner went to the Dick Cheney School of Charm.

  2. Eric Lundgaard says:

    Harry is a lot like you Steve but brighter! You might just be surprised that he didn’t even know he had a problem in the first place! LOL! Happy new Year. Beware the Ides of March when the debt ceiling is needing to be negotiated!

  3. Steve says:

    To me this is Steve Sebelius way of acknowledging Harry is being sidelined by the adults in Washington City. Especially on these major high visibility issues and bills.
    And before you lefty liberal defenders attack me for saying “the adults” I want to be clear I include Joe Biden and Barack Obama in this description. Much as it pains a conservative to admit, Barack Obama is finally showing the mettle needed to push the Congress into doing its job, hopefully this continues.
    This is not the first time Harry has been obviously sidelined.
    Remember the debt ceiling battle in 2011? Harry claiming his was the only deal as Boehner and Obama hashed things out with no Harry in the deal? Then Harry was all for the deal that was completely different from his “only game in town” option.

    Harry is a complete embarrassment to the state of Nevada and had he faced a candidate with the slightest credibility in 2010 he would have been retired to Searchlight right now. How lucky for Harry “someone” pushed Brian Sandoval into a federal judgeship. Sure didn’t help Rory noname in his bid for governor of Nevada.

    Its painfully obvious Harry hurts the Democrats in many ways as majority leader of the Senate but they are stuck with him, so they sideline him as needed. (even as a conservative I cannot gloat on it, its not good for any of us.)

    BTW just what is up with you guys pushing for Hillary instead of the current two term veep? This is just a slap in the face to Joe the Mouth! Frankly, as a (rare) conservative independent Joe Biden could get my vote.

  4. Ed says:

    Between Eastwood”s chair job and potty mouth Bonner, the family values Republicans should have their mouths washed out with soup or soap.